A father for the Lonely Adolescent Boys in Madagascar

1- Many fathers are not available to care for children because of many problems. So contemporary families, counseling, youth ministry try to support adolescents in their loneliness. However, there is a call for a father here because Malagasy people value nuclear family and fatherhood.
2- Loneliness is the emptiness in our hearts, the longing for connection and intimacy, a state of human being, not caused by sin, not good, not bad. It tells us that to be a person, we must love and be loved.
The solitude in loneliness is an opportunity for growth.
3- Adolescence is the time between childhood and adulthood. There is a rapid change in the body and brain for the personal growth toward maturity. The search for self-identity and maturity causes the crisis of loneliness in adolescents.
4- Adolescents join a peer group of the same age, school, gender, with 6 or 8 members because in this group they find empathy and security to open up to new beliefs and values.
New experience trains adolescents to be responsible adults.
5- The friendship and empowerment from the parents are important in giving freedom, teaching, training, setting rules, and supporting the adolescents. The failure of the parents increases their loneliness and drives them to defective behaviors.
6- A typical Malagasy family values nuclear family. Fathers are the head and breadwinner of the family and they hold the authority at home.
Children are supposed to be respectful to the parents.
They don’t live the parents until they get married.
7- Unfortunately, fathers are authoritative, possessive and violent toward the family which has impact to adolescents. Divorce and poverty also make them feel hopeless, and the inability to express who they are increases their loneliness as well.
8- The development of science and technology creates frustration in their lives and confusion in their identity. The gap between parents and adolescents increases.
9- Parents who are violent and severe in control don’t help the adolescents in the crisis. They become lonelier in their frustration and anxiety that may cause temptation to addictions and defective behaviors.
10- If boys don’t have enough support in adolescence, they struggle to become adults. They will be lonely fathers later and the cycle will continue to the next generation. The call for a father is to be active in the parenting work in order to break this cycle of loneliness.
11- The anger of the adolescent boys is the failure of the parents to support them. God is calling the fathers to disciple and instruct the adolescents to help them to have maturity and happy life.
12- Discipline has to do with unconditional love. Adolescents need to know that it’s Ok to make mistakes, and there is grace and opportunity to start again in order to grow. There is a validation of their experience.
13- Discipline is teaching about their uniqueness which is good but not always accepted by others and coping with their emotions of loneliness, setting rules, training in giving freedom, and supporting them.
14- Serving the Lord is living the faith and having union with Jesus to die in the self, bonding with the love of God to have fullness, and serving others with humility.
15- To practice the Christian life in the family, starting with the 41% of Christian households in Madagascar, fathers can grow in faith, embrace the fatherhood of God, and learn from Jesus to lead the family without violence. Then, they can be a good example for all the Malagasy men.
16- To restore the Christian family life, the Theological Basis of Family Relationship is a good tool to use. It is based on the unconditional love of God with grace and forgiveness.
17- Also, it is based on the empowerment and intimacy that it forms a mature covenant and to create a healthy family full of joy and peace.
18- Schooling for parents is needed to help them to be efficient in this precious and hard work of parenting. They need someone to teach them how to live the faith at home to practice good relationship within the family.
19- Because of the high rate of the domestic violence which is about 70% of the households in Madagascar, men need support in their healing to become the image of the father God to the children, and to lead the family with love and humility.
20- A famous Malagasy saying mentions “trees for canoes come from good soil” and that is to value the parenting work in Madagascar.
This call is to encourage the fathers to help adolescent boys become good leaders and fathers.