A Father for the Lonely Young Boys in Madagascar
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
To the Luther Seminary, Professors and Staffs, for their precious help and support in my Master Degree program.
To St Anthony Park Lutheran Church, for making a space for me, as a learning context, for my growth as a Christian Public Leader.
To my husband, Franck, who has fathered our four children for thirty-two years now, head of our family of twelve children and grand-children, and who gives a precious support to me to finish my Master Degree at Luther Seminary Minnesota.
To my three sons, Tiana (in law) and Tanjona, who are fathers, and Herizo, who will be a father also, for their encouragement and love. To my grand-sons, Johan and Nathan, for their kindness and love. My wish for them is to be the strong men God intended them to be. Glory be to God.
Table of Contents
Loneliness as a Human Condition. 2
The loneliness of Adolescent Boys. 4
CHAPTER 2: THE LONELINESS OF ADOLESCENT BOYS IN MADAGASCAR.. 7
CHAPTER 3: LIVING THE CHRISTIAN LIFE IN THE FAMILY.. 14
Serving the Lord as Family. 16
CHAPTER 4: THE NEED FOR RESTORATION.. 18
Family Ministry in Madagascar 19
Empowering Malagasy Fatherhood. 20
Introduction
Have you ever missed a bond with your father in your life? In Madagascar, having many children is among the blessings[1] from the families on the wedding day. Children are desired and boys have more value because men are leaders and heads of the household.[2] They are expected to be the successors of the fathers in their absence or old age in taking responsibility in the family. Do boys receive enough love, care, and support from the fathers as desired and children?[3]
With the different family issues and the unavailability of many fathers to take care of their children at home today, in spite of the different supports for teenagers in the contemporary families, friends, youth ministry, churches, and rehab centers, why is there still a call for a father in the loneliness of adolescent boys in Madagascar?[4]
My mother has five siblings: three girls and two boys. She is the eldest who was taking care of them during their childhood as their parents were divorced, but as they grew up, her two brothers, who are younger than her, are most respected and consulted in the family decisions. Where was the father who could support them to become adults and leaders,[5] especially in their adolescence, which is the turning point in their growth?
This writing will talk about the loneliness of adolescent boys[6] during the phase of development, particularly in Madagascar. Also, the redefinition of the value and practice in a Christian family,[7] which is needed for the restoration, especially the empowerment[8] of the fathers in the Malagasy family.
Loneliness as a Human Condition
In her article “Creation and a Theology of Humanness,” author Holt-Woehl tries to make a correction in the assumption of the loneliness in human life and the pain caused with it. She says that before the fall, the creation of God is perfect and good, but gives particular attention that to be human also is to experience temptation, anxiety, loneliness and limit.[9]
They are not caused by sin[10] but just human condition, not good nor bad,[11] and in becoming human, Jesus embraces this humanness to save us through his death and resurrection. He is entering our life to embody our brokenness. Jesus experienced loneliness when he cried out on the cross “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me.”[12] There is a possibility to sin in how we respond to our pain as we are created in God’s image to have the ability to choose our life. Because of that choice, we are living not in a perfect world but a redeemed world.[13]
Loneliness is a state of being, the doubt of self-knowledge and identity, and to be human is to be lonely in the dark and deep place in us.[14] It is due to the lack of connection of people which can give definition to one’s identity and place in the society. That is why we need each other to be whole in ourselves. Living in a chronic loneliness leads to the hopelessness, projection of the responsibility to others, emptiness, disconnection with the future associated with fear and denial.[15]
Loneliness is different from aloneness, solitude and depression. The emptiness in the state of loneliness and requires a potential for fullness.[16] Aloneness is the separation from what is taken, and the good aspect of it is solitude. It is an opportunity for self-growth and people who experience loneliness, enjoy solitude for a time for meditation to encounter God, and adolescents need to take advantage of this period to understand and build personal identity.[17] Depression is the lack of opportunity and potential to fulfil the emptiness with the feeling of hopelessness.[18]
Cacioppo says “those who feel lonely actually spend no more time alone than do those who feel more connected.”[19] That means friendship is one cause of loneliness also, and loneliness is not cured by company, and solitude doesn’t increase it. The problems of loneliness are the need of connection which are not met, inability to engage challenges, and feeling unhappy with the failure to cope in the loneliness,[20] which are painful.
The Loneliness of Adolescent Boys
The loneliness in adolescent boys is normal as a human condition in his development and can be addressed in the three factors: developmental, cultural, and social. Adolescents need special ability and strong support in going through the process to those different areas, otherwise they may find themselves failure, rejected, careless, and don’t find a place for them in the society.[21]
Loneliness in Development
After childhood, young adolescents experience rapid and inevitable change that causes challenges in personal growth.[22] Physical changes occur to become boys and adults and adolescents feel separated in facing the new experience in entering to the strange world[23] that requires other needs, wants, and hopes. Moreover, to develop a personal and unique identity[24] to form personality, they need community and social experience to grow in the sense of self and know their limit as human beings. In this experience, they face the social demand[25] with the expectations from TV, media, families, magazines, Churches and other expectations of what should life look like, and they worry whether their bodies are acceptable or not to others. This social demand conflicts with their personal experience, which causes a problem of self-acceptance and a sense of inadequacy that makes them lonely and leads them to the sexual drive of all kinds.
Moreover, they have a sense of isolation and aloneness in the struggle to establish what it means to be a boy and adult to determine the sexual identity. Therefore, they are facing the problems of self-esteem[26], asking “Who am I?” Self-esteem is the appreciation and acceptance of the way of thinking about who you are and validation of the personal experience, and its growth involves biological and psychological experience with different problems and responsibilities especially with cars, school, work, drugs, sex, and alcohol.[27] The additional responsibilities, experience with new ways of doing things, and search for independence result in the development of values and skills that have great impact on their well-being, and is helpful for brain development.[28] The failure in these new experiences with the self-criticism, lack of self-confidence, and low self-worth has an impact on the adolescents and makes them lonelier.
Loneliness in the Culture
The increase of changes from the development of science and technology creates a problem with the sense of belonging[29] of adolescents. They are forming personal identity and are not at ease with the cultural demand for conformity caused by the technology. They tend to be more independent to their parents and start to reach out to connect with friends. Being a victim with the continued mobility,[30] they struggle to form friendships and more peer groups. Also, the moving of nuclear families cuts them off from the extended family ties which they need.
Besides, what is valuable in this era of science and technology is the performance and success.[31] Their value is based on what they can do rather than who they are.[32] Today, adolescents think that parents are highly concerned with their own changes caused by the technologic culture and disturb them with their problems. The adults don’t give good example for them to imitate and they rebel against their lifestyle[33] full of insecurity, instability, and unhappiness. The sense of loss and aloneness from the cultural problems cause loneliness in adolescents.
Loneliness in Society
Being detached from their parents, adolescents move to groups of the same age, school, gender, or socioeconomic background, with six to eight members called peer-groups[34] to face the new world of social expectation. The peer group culture is a powerful influence for adolescents, particularly in the middle years for their strong need of support and approval, to set standards of behaviors and attitudes, and it contributes largely and positively to the growth of self-identity as it has the greatest gift of empathy and helps to have open mind to other moral values and concepts.
Unfortunately, if the expectation of the group conflicts[35] with the need for self-direction and self-expectations, there is a problem of group-identity,[36] and the adolescents feel bad to stay in the group. The other problem is the cooperation with the negative goal of the reference group[37] with the uncertainty of the value of the parents or the group, especially if the group is very helpful for them. In addition, if there are expectations from parents[38] and they force adolescent to enter in one peer group which doesn’t offer acceptance to them, they don’t feel comfortable to stay in the group to fulfil the goal of the parents. As loneliness is human, we cannot control our feelings but we can choose the decisions we make because of our feelings. Adolescents should learn to deal with those feelings,[39] and the feeling of loneliness need not necessarily destroy their lives.
CHAPTER 2: THE LONELINESS OF ADOLESCENT BOYS IN MADAGASCAR
Before, we defined adolescent boys as those from thirteen years old, when they start to go to college, to eighteen years old, adults with the right to national identity, driver licenses, and legal marriage. They are not independent because, in general, the young Malagasy people don’t leave the house of their parents until they get married,[40] unless they have to study far away. Today, the age of young boys entering college is ten years old. In general, I notice that adolescent boys are living a more pressured life today than before and experience more struggles in their relationship within the family and outside that make them lonelier. This section will talk about the experience of Malagasy adolescent boys in the family and the influence of the culture in their lives.
In Madagascar, we value the nuclear family and men are strongly respected as leaders and head[41] of the family. When we talk about the authority of the parents, it is about the men’s decision and women and children have to respect their final words, and men have strong power because they are the main providers of the financial needs of the family.[42] Most Malagasy men are power-driven to be authoritarian, and dominant in the family. For example, they don’t allow women to choose what they want or to feel their own emotions, they have to decide for the women. Also, they don’t support the children to argue their opinions.
Domestic violence is very high in Madagascar, and is a one big factor which makes women and children vulnerable. According to the Malagasy Non-Governmental Organization “Sahala,” 70% of women[43] are victims of physical and sexual violence by the husbands at home, and the adolescent boys witness the traumatic experience from this violence. They cannot fight with the fathers to protect the mothers because they are not strong enough and afraid of rejection, or they love the fathers and mothers and feel confused in the situation. In general, the teenagers in Madagascar are also victim of four kinds of violence through their fathers: sexual, emotional or psychological, physical, and neglect.
Nary[44] was a teenager in our biblical group. His father abused him sexually at the age of fifteen and he had a struggle with homosexuality. Later, when he married, he divorced many times and was unable to build a family because of this problem. During his childhood, Santa,[45] a member of our extended family, was a victim of aggressive words, humiliation and intimidation by his violent father, and became shameful and a failure. Because of the trauma from his father, he could not finish his studies and had low self-esteem that drove him to violence and alcohol. Fidy[46] struggles with alcohol and uses it as a way to cope with his anxiety because he always feels not enough for his own family. He shared his story that at the age of thirteen, when he played with his brother, throwing oranges from the balcony and hitting someone passing by the pathway near their house. Then, full of shame and rage, his father took him outside necked, bit and drew him to the pond and drowning in the water to punish him, but he was saved by his brother. Koto,[47] son of our neighborhood, was abandoned by his father in the divorce and lived as orphan with other people during his teenagers because her mother couldn’t take care of him. He was full of hatred and become indifferent with his father when he grew up.
Divorce is also another factor that plays a role in the loneliness of young boys in Madagascar. The rate of divorce is increasing, and today hundreds of cases per month[48] come to the court asking for divorce, and most of cases involve young couples. Young adolescent boys from eighteen years old can be legally married, and the average age of young boys newly married is 22 years old, which causes the high divorce as they are not really mature[49] until thirty years old.
Moreover, the high expectation of the parents with the strong bond of the Malagasy culture[50] makes them very possessive and controlling toward young boys. As a consequence, the teenagers are pushed to performance and become frustrated with the inadequacy and failure. Those problems intensify the distance between parents and children, particularly the rebellion of adolescent boys against their fathers. They are searching for their identity to become adults and control, and the possessiveness of the parents in their lives doesn’t allow them to have freedom to choose. There are permissive[51] parents who don’t care what their children do or allow them to do everything as a meaning of love that make the adolescents feel abandoned and lonely as well.
In a typical Malagasy family, Children are very respectful toward their parents and elders with their expectation like arranged marriage, study, and job. They become docile without motivation and may satisfy the parents with their expectations, but not happy in themselves because of the fear of the authority and violence of the fathers at home. If they are exhausted with the authority of the parents, they may rebel with low achievement at school or oppose them with unacceptable behavior and hatred in breaking the rules.
On one hand, I have noticed that it is good for the family, children, and youngers to have discipline and a good way of living (Deuteronomy 5: 16 NRSV), and the respect of the fathers and leaders, but on the other hand, it creates a frustration and loneliness to the family, especially the adolescent boys because of the dominance, imposition and control in their lives.
Furthermore, another factor of loneliness among young boys is poverty. According to the World Bank, the rate of poverty in Madagascar is about 92% of the population.[52]This number has impact in adolescent boys because some of them are abandoned to become street children ¼ children between 5-17 years old[53] have to work to help their parents in child labor and become early burdened with overesponsible. Most of them are from rural or isolated areas and cannot have access to school, healthy food, or good health like other children, and feel hopeless with their future.
To summarize the life of the adolescent boys in Madagascar, they are highly desired, expected to be leaders to fulfil the wish of the parents, but the intimidation, humiliation, hurt from the violent parents, especially fathers, and poverty cause more struggles in their lives and increases their pain to as fatherless, orphaned and lonely. Those lonely adolescents will be leaders and heads of the family later, and become lonely fathers who will continue the cycle of fatherless and loneliness to the next generation.
The emotions of frustration and anxiety have a role in the loneliness, and for Malagasy people men are not supposed to cry[54] because they are expected to be always strong as leader. Adolescent boys are trained to be strong boys, but in suppressing the real emotions from their own experience at home and outside, no one could hear about their lives, and they are left and lonely.
Globalization[55] is one important factor causing big challenges in the life of adolescents in Madagascar during the last two decades. The advanced transportation and communication developed by the science and technology expand ideas, goods, and beliefs which affect Madagascar socially, culturally, economically, and intellectually.[56]
The increase of Chinese imports and commerce in Madagascar is very significant and has negative impact in the adolescents. 1/10 of Madagascar commerce exchanges are with China as a commercial partner. According to Yang Xiaorong, Ambassador of China in Madagascar, the increase is 35 times what was registered in 1990, and they have 1400 enterprises now in Madagascar.[57] This gives opportunity to the young people to have easy access to TV, the internet, digital games, and cellphones.
“Madagascar was one of the first countries in sub-Saharan Africa to gain full Internet connectivity. Several Internet Service Providers are offering wireless broadband access causing an explosion of the number of cybercafes,”[58] according to the World Stats. The statistics of the use of Facebook is 87. 43% [59] of social media in Madagascar, and adolescents[60] use social media to find friends easily.
Unfortunately, they spend too much time with the internet, Facebook, in messaging friends, and neglecting other things in losing connection with the family at home. Also, there is no control of the sexual exposure from the media, with pornography, cybersex, and erotic movies. They are attracted to the different trends and fashions they see in the shops, like the very latest iPhones, cars, games, and many luxury things and exposed to the different lifestyles they see in the media, especially European and American hairstyles, tattoos, earnings, and clothing.
Moreover, they are more distracted with the increase of game clubs, a new form of night club created especially for adolescents and young adults, where they can have fun together with music, dance and food, but there is a lot of abuse of sex, drugs and alcohol. Adolescents are easily influenced by the invasion of the new interdenominational religion with strong music and expressive worship, which grows in numbers during the ten years and start to quit the Malagasy traditional church. The peer group pressure with the competition with the trend creates heaviness for them as well. Today, the bonding[61] culture with unity and togetherness of the Malagasy family is lost because we are with the digital device when we have free time. Malagasy people are used to our traditional music, with the attire of a large shirt and short or long pants for men, and shirt or dresses for women, and western dress from European Western influence of French and British colonization and Christianity, in general.[62] In following the foreign trends, adolescents struggle with their identity. Also, they are seduced with the temptation of luxury and material possessions because they don’t have enough money due to the poverty.[63]
Parents are more insecure with the peer group because of the seduction in new religion, abuse, and strange lifestyle which is totally different from the Malagasy culture[64] which intensifies the frustration and confusion. Rebellion in teenagers becomes higher and they are lonelier to strive in addictive and more defective behaviors.
An example of social pressure happened with our son one day when at the age of fourteen years old, he drove our car without our permission to compete with his friend, who challenged him every day at school. We were very anxious because it was very dangerous and I wondered why he didn’t tell us about his struggles so that we could help him. I realized that he didn’t have enough space or security to talk about his problem and to be listened to and understood, especially by his father, with what’s going on in his life. We thought he had everything at home, and were more concerned with his study and satisfied with his integration to the Sunday school. Then, we started to focus more on the life of our adolescent children at home.
CHAPTER 3: LIVING The CHRISTIAN LIFE IN THE FAMILY
“The best antidote to such a poisonous atmosphere is the creation of a Christian home.”[65] The poisonous atmosphere is all the bad effects of the development of the science and technology that impacted the life of the individual and family. Living the Christian life in the family is important to protect the family and make them happy.
“And, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4).
In general, the anger of adolescent boys in Madagascar is from the loneliness and the failure to grow to become adults with a personal unique identity and self-confidence. As the growth of adolescents needs the development of friendships, the family is the first place[66] to experience nurturing relationships for their development.
Unconditional Love
Discipline the adolescents has to do with unconditional love with tenderness, acceptance, validation, encouragement, and grace to make room for failure as an opportunity to try again for their growth. Adolescents need tenderness and acceptance for their desire for intimacy[67] and communion which is not just romance, fellowship or sex. Unconditional love from the fathers is important to build relationship and trust with them. Then, they can be a key figure[68] to explain and teach adolescents to know that people may not always accept their own bodies with the changes.
Also, they can prepare them with the conflict between the social demand and their self- concept that feeling lonely is normal. Adolescents need to be encouraged as boys with their appropriate needs to develop self-concept and self-acceptance as well. In their anxiety about the present and the future lives, fathers are the first experienced people to be a mirror of hope[69] to validate their experience and encourage their ability to face their lives with hope.
Empowerment
Disciple the adolescents is empowering[70] them in their growth. The search for personal and unique identity needs their challenges in the new experience with cars, school, drugs, sex, and alcohol[71] to deal with problems and responsibility. Parents should not be afraid to give freedom to them to try and extend grace and the success of the empowerment of the adolescent is when they act responsibly with the freedom parents give to them, otherwise parents should reduce responsibility to them. Parents should make clear expectations with what they want from them, clear boundaries, rules, and be aware when they leave and return home. Teaching adolescents about religiosity and to choose the good is very important for the good decision in their lives.
Concerning the relationship with the peer-group, tolerance is important to support them exercise the task of differentiation.[72] Parents who are restrictive, authoritarians, possessive, controlling, and have high expectation push them to rebellion. Also, they need to be listened and validated with their experiences and feelings in allowing them to cry, being vulnerable in their weaknesses, and also taught about their feelings of loneliness as an opportunity to learn and grow.
“As for me and my household, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15 NRSV).
Some 41% of the Malagasy people are Christians,[73] and in looking closely to the family life with high violence, abuse, divorce, poverty, serving the Lord should have different meaning to the Malagasy people to make them happy and healthy, in helping adolescent boys in their struggles.
Having Faith in Jesus
First of all, to be able to serve the Lord is to have faith and believe in the Lord. Andy Root mentions that is not just an act of trust[74] but it is Theosis,[75] the union with Christ, to come to the cross to take our being to the being of Jesus in his death and resurrection and unify with his faithfulness of self-giving because of God and for the humanity.[76] He emphasizes the bad of Moralistic Therapeutic Deism,[77] in the age of authenticity where people feel the presence of God in their lives but they want to choose and accept what is good for themselves and deny the transcendence. That is why James K. A. Smith talks about a reconversion[78] to all Christianity in this secular age that is quite relevant for Malagasy people to deal with the violence with any forms in the households so that all Christian fathers could lead their families with peace.
Bonding with Father God
Do fathers need a father? In creating the universe, there is a divine fatherhood of God in continuing to care for his creation.[79] God fathers all of us through the salvation from Jesus, his death and resurrection, and as we believe, we also become children of God and unified with him (John 1: 12). In the Lord’s Prayer, all the family call “Our Father in heaven:” fathers, mothers, children. Calling God as Father should remind the responsibility of all men in being aware of the role in fatherhood by taking care of the family with love.[80] The children are like orphans if they don’t receive care and love at home. How can fathers help their suffering children?
They need to recognize first that they need love and care in their own struggles and allow God to help them in their suffering and loneliness in embracing his mercy, love and care to heal them and learning maturity from him to father their children. Unless they accept the fatherhood of God, they cannot act as adults and are always struggling in their roles as fathers.
Leader like Jesus
To be able to lead the family and form the children, a father needs to learn to lead himself first. The position of leadership is an opportunity to them to grow in love and humility.[81] Jesus was teaching his disciples to have humility in headship in being servant and humble, like in the position of slaves, when he was doing the foot washing to them. “You call me Teacher and Lord – and you are right, for that is what I am. So if I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet” (John 13: 13-14). Being the head of the family doesn’t mean domination and hostility, and fathers have to imitate and exercise the leadership of Jesus and the authority of Father God. Following Jesus means accepting him as Lord and willing to submit in his authority. Male submission to Jesus means renouncing male aggression and giving away to death all violence toward the family and society. The strength and honor of men is from the servanthood attitude and self-sacrifice like Jesus experienced (Philippians 2), to be transformed by the Spirit of God.
CHAPTER 4: THE NEED FOR RESTORATION
In our daily life, we tend to neglect the consequences of the trauma of painful life in individuals, family and society. As God is calling us into wholeness, we need to work on those issues and live the salvation of God.
Family is a good place to work on the healing process to move from hurting to healing behavior.[82] Living the Christian life is really important in creating a heathy family and the Theological Basis of Family Relationship[83] model which reflects the covenant love of God for the humanity is a good tool to help the family practice the relationship conform[84] to God’s purpose. A healthy family is based on the unconditional love, respect, and support from each other to build a healthy relationship which is free from violence.
The degree of commitment, grace and empowerment that leads to intimacy is powerful to reinforce the mature covenant of each member to build healthy and nurturing relationship between husbands and wives, and parents and children.
The restoration of the family in his brokenness requires a special and constant work with a family ministry, for the church and society, as it is complex and a long process.
The task of this ministry is naming and addressing all the issues in the family, working on the renewing of the mind and give constant support to the family.
This ministry should be bold to address the problem in relationships, marriages and parenting with different forms. In naming and talking about the issues and their impact on the human beings and encouraging the happy life, people are more aware of the problems and willing to change.
The restoration of the whole person in the family needs a teaching of the truth about the self and godly way of living, as Christians and loved by God, theologically and theoretically. This is crucial in this ministry for the renewing of mind (Romans 12: 2) as a primary task in the complex system to practice an adaptive change,[85] by touching their beliefs to influence change. Moreover, in supporting the family, this ministry will assure a secure and trustful place for sharing stories about the hurt by individual or family, create a supporting group for accountability and growth in offering pastoral care. Also, this ministry can refer the family to the right people in their specific needs, with the case of mental illness, assistance in the domestic violence, addictions, to know about laws.
The objective is to empower the individual, strengthen the marriage to be life-long with quality, and empower the act of parenting to be fulfilled as a holy work.[86] This work will prepare families to reflect the kingdom of God in earth,[87] which is full of happiness and joy. The children and adolescent boys will benefit richly with this happy and peaceful family.
Empowering Malagasy Fatherhood
As we value the fatherhood in the family in Madagascar, it is good to remember that it is not only in biological or adoptive, not only by being proud to have children but it is about raising them with dignity, especially boys. It is about love and responsibility[88] by connecting with the family with heart and spirit and being available for their good that impact the physical and spiritual well-being. When fathers teach the children early in their lives, that will have impact even when they become old (Proverbs 22:6). They can teach about the faith in God, the way of the good living, and the personal life of children. So, fathering is very important in the early life in childhood. To be able to teach the children, fathers are to be in contact[89] and have good relationship with them every day. The fathering crisis[90] today affects the life of young children, adolescents and youth even old people. Psychological and physical[91] absence of fathers in their families is among the very neglected damaging issues today. In Madagascar most of the fathers live with the adolescents but don’t nurture them enough psychologically. “The best testimony that a father can give to the Gospel is not in words but in deeds in the quality of life that he creates in his domestic church.”[92]
Special support for Malagasy men in the church is very crucial for their healing in the struggles with power and sex that is causing high domestic violence and divorce so that they can be a model and key figure to help young boys, especially adolescent, to face those problem with confidence and maturity. Church has authority, great opportunity, and should confront men with the domestic violence and lead them to the change trough the family ministry.
Conclusion
A famous Malagasy saying mentions that “Trees for boats come from good soil,” which means that good sons are from good fathers. That is to value the fatherhood in Madagascar.
As loneliness is part of our lives as human being, adolescent boys should not be afraid to experience it, but need to embrace it as an opportunity to grow. Because of the Malagasy value to be good soil as Christians, parents, particularly fathers, have great responsibility in empowering adolescents, and are called to be present to show more love to the desired young boys to support teenagers with their challenges and struggles of loneliness in their life a Madagascar. They need fatherhood to imitate to become good leader and head of family later.
Furthermore, this responsibility may expose the fatherlessness childhood of many fathers causing the failure to fulfil his role of fatherhood. I like what Jürgen Moltmann said that after death there is a new beginning.[93] There is always hope as we will to restart again from our failure. The result is that fathers would break the cycle of loneliness in fathers and sons to help the boys to become good fathers and leaders for Madagascar. The pride of the father would be their sons who are walking in the righteousness of God they pass on to them.
Churches and Governments can work together for the healing and restoration of dysfunctional families in the church and society and engage with the family ministry.
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[1] Jenman, “Getting Married in Madagascar,” https://www.jenmansafaris.com/getting-married-in-madagascar/, accessed April 20, 2019.
[2] “Challenging Gender Roles in Madagascar,” https://www.justinaworldaway.com/2017/08/challenging-gender-roles-in-madagascar.html, accessed April 19, 2019.
[3] Clayton C. Barbeau, Head of the Family (Manchester, NH: Sophia Institute Press, 2002), 28-29.
[4] John W. Miller, Calling God “Father”: Essays on the Bible, Fatherhood and Culture
(Mahwah, NJ: Paulist Press, 1999), 93.
[5] “Challenging Gender Roles in Madagascar.”
[6] Natale, Loneliness and Spiritual Growth (Birmingham, AL: Religious Education Press, 1986), Ch. 4.
[8] Miller, Calling God “Father”, 93.
[9] Hollie Holt-Woehl, “Creation and a Theology of Humanness,” Journal of Religion, Disability & Health 16:2 (2012): 121-132.
[10] Ibid.
[11] Natale, Loneliness and Spiritual Growth, 94.
[12] Holt-Woehl, 125.
[13] Ibid., 131.
[14] Leroy S. Rouner, Loneliness (Notre Dame, IN: University of Notre Dame Press,
1998), 2.
[15] Ibid., 1-37, 34, 118.
[16] Natale, Loneliness and Spiritual Growth, 31.
[17] Ibid. 92.
[18] Ibid.
[19] John T. Cacioppo and William Patrick, Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for
Social Connection (New York: W.W. Norton & Company, 2008), 13.
[21] Natale, Loneliness and Spiritual Growth, 73.
[22] Ibid., 40.
[23] Ibid., 73.
[24] Ibid., 40.
[25] Ibid., 74.
[26] Ibid., 75.
[27] Ibid.
[28] UNICEF, “The Adolescent Brain,” March 14, 2019, https://www.unicef.org/adolescence/.
[29] Natale, Loneliness and Spiritual Growth, 79.
[30] Ibid.
[31] Ibid., 80.
[33] Ibid., 81.
[34] Ibid., 85.
[35] Ibid., 87.
[36] Ibid., 90.
[37] Ibid., 88.
[38] Ibid., 89.
[39] Ibid., 94.
[40] “Challenging Gender Roles in Madagascar.”
[41] During the civil marriage in Madagascar, men are declared as head, leader and provider of the family, according to the law about the marriage.
[42] “Challenging Gender Roles in Madagascar.”
[43] Mada-actus, « Plus de la Moitié des Femmes Victimes de la Violence Conjugale, » https://mada-actus.info/social/plus-de-moitie-femmes-victimes-de-violence-conjugale-zoom/, accessed April 17, 2019.
[44] Nary R., in discussion with the Author, January 2017.
[45] Santa H., in discussion with the Author, January 2017.
[46] Fidy R., in discussion with the Author, February 2017.
[47] Koto D., in discussion with the Author, February 2017.
[48] Tribune Madagascar, « Des Jeunes Maries Immatures à Tana, » https://www.madagascar-tribune.com/Plus-d-une-centaine-de-divorces,6322.html, accessed April 19, 2019.
[49] Ibid.
[50] Jenman, “Getting Married in Madagascar.”
[51] J. O. Balswick, and J. K. Balswick. The Family: A Christian Perspective on the
Contemporary Home (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Academic, 2014), 115.
[52] Agence ecofin, « Madagascar: 92% de la Population Sous le Seuil de Pauvreté, » https://www.agenceecofin.com/politique/0707-12246-madagascar-92-de-la-population-sous-le-seuil-de-pauvrete, accessed Avril 19, 2019.
[53] Humanium, “Children of Madagascar,” https://www.humanium.org/en/madagascar/, accessed April 20, 2019.
[54] The New Humanitarian, “Real Men Don’t Cry,” www.thenewhumanitarian.org/news/2009/04/20/real-men-don’t-cry-or-do-they, accessed April, 20, 2019.
[55] “How Globalized is Madagascar?” November 15, 2014, https://madagascargeo.wordpress.com/how-globalized-is-madagascar/, accessed 20 April,2019.
[56] Ibid.
[57] Chine Magazine, « La Chine, Premier Importateur de Madagascar, » https://www.chine-magazine.com/la-chine-premier-importateur-de-madagascar/, accessed 20 April, 2019.
[58] Internet World Stats, “Madagascar Internet Usage,” https://internetworldstats.com/af/mg.htm, accessed April 20, 2019.
[59] Stat counter, “Social Media Stats in Madagascar,” 2016, gs.statcounter.com/social-media-stats/all/madagascar/.
[60] PSYCOM, “Social Media and Teens,” March 7, 2019, https://www.psycom.net/social-media-teen-mental-health.
[61] Balswick and Balswick, The Family, 114.
[62] Encyclopedia Britannica, “Madagascar-Daily Life and Social Customs,” https://www.britannica.com/place/Madagascar/Daily-life-and-social-customs, accessed April 20, 2019.
[63] Agence ecofin, « Madagascar : 92% de la Population Sous le Seuil de Pauvreté. »
[64] Encyclopedia Britannica, “Madagascar-Daily Life and Social Customs.”
[65] Barbeau, Head of the Family, 55.
[66] Natale, Loneliness and Spiritual Growth, 75.
[67] Kenda Dean, Practicing Passion (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 2009), 134.
[68] Natale, Loneliness and Spiritual Growth, 41.
[69] Anne E. Streaty Wimberly and Sarah Frances Farmer, Raising Hope: Four Paths to Courageous Living for Black Youth (Nashville:Wesley’s Foundery Books, 2017), 4.
[70] Balswick and Balswick, The Family, 170.
[71] Natale, Loneliness and Spiritual Growth, 75.
[72] Balswick and Balswick, The Family, 170.
[73] Wikipedia, “Christianity in Madagascar,” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christianity_in_Madagascar, accessed Mars 20, 2019.
[74] Andrew Root, Faith Formation in a Secular Age (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Academic, 2017), 119.
[75] Ibid., 179.
[76] Ibid., 120.
[77] Ibid., Intro XVI.
[78] Smith, How (Not) to Be Secular, 134.
[79] Barbeau, Head of the Family, xii.
[80] Ibid., xiii.
[81] Ronald Heifetz, Alexandra Grashow and Marty Linsky, The Practice of Adaptive Leadership:
Tools and Tactics for Changing Your Organization and the World (Boston: Harvard Business Press, 2009).
[82] Balswick and Balswick, The Family, 19.
[83]Ibid., 7.
[84] Ibid., 8.
[85] Heifetz, Grashow, and Linsky, The Practice of Adaptive Leadership.
[86] Barbeau, Head of the Family, 70.
[87] Ibid., 79.
[88] Ibid., XIV.
[89]Miller, Calling God “Father”, 93.
[90] Ibid., 94
[91] Ibid., 132.
[92] Barbeau, Head of the Family, 65.
[93] Jürgen Moltmann, In the End—The Beginning: The Life of Hope (Minneapolis: Fortress Press, 2004).
